Love's Collision

HE was the fifth child of seven, and the only son of an only son.  His mother and father were locked in a loveless marriage. His mother constantly berated and insulted his father to the children.  She often pitted the children against each other and left them bereft of affection and love.  His father was a hard worker. Provided well for his family. It still could not diminish the visceral verbal venom that spewed from his mother.

His father died when the boy was barely a teen, leaving him alone in a house of women. Seeking to give him a brighter future, his oldest sister brought him up north to live with her and her husband. There, he could receive a better education. He vowed that when HE had a family, he'd make sure his marriage was rooted in love. He'd do more than provide for his children--he'd open his heart to them.  They would feel his love.  He walked into his new school, turned and...

SHE was the second child of six. Her mother and father were locked in a violent marriage. An island man (Jamaica), a musician and an alcoholic, her father would often fly into rages that left her mother beaten, battered and bruised. Once, she inserted herself into the fray and suffered consequences no eight year old should ever have to deal with, much less from her own father's angry hand.

Her mother finally divorced her father, and the girl became the de facto mom/child of the house, caring for her siblings while her mother worked long hours in a hot, caustic dry cleaners. Always the responsible one, she was forced to grow up way too fast. She vowed that when SHE had a family, she'd make certain her husband would appreciate her. She'd allow him to safeguard her heart. She'd create an environment where her children would be allowed a complete childhood, free of the worries of adults.  They would be prepared for real life when the time came. She walked into her school, noticed the new boy, and...

HE....MET....SHE!

And, because their worlds collided, merged and melded into a beautiful miasma of love, power, commitment and trust...

THEY

MADE

ME!

Thank you Mom and Dad

Be Well...

Hallelume!

Highest Praise?  Really?

You know what I'm talking about.

We've heard it for years.
Someone asks us to shout it out in church, and we comply readily.

It's one word: "Hallelujah". The so-called highest praise you can give to God.
But is it?  Really?  Is there ANY scripture that confirms this?  The answer (Bible scholars, feel free to double check me on this), is a resounding NO!!

I find it humorous, though. I mean, it's one of a long list of accepted church phrases that are filled with fallacy. Think about it:  if there is a "highest praise", wouldn't there of necessity be a "lowest praise"?  Or a "median praise", for that matter?

Well, in the spirit of mocking the asinine cliche that is common church speak, I offer this:  the "official" list of praises, including their level and order!  I do this with the same authority that was used to proclaim every STUPID cliche that can be found in Christianity today.

Ahem...the LOWEST praise of course is: "Nice sandals, Jesus!"
Next, we have: "Jesus, how do you get your waves to lay down so neatly without a do-rag line on your forehead?"
(Yeah, I know that last one was a question, but the praise aspect was implied. Work with me here...it's only Wednesday!)

And now...the median praises:
"Jesus!  Way to box out in the paint!"

"Look at You, Jesus!  Your Holy Ghost is showing!"

"Nobody does a fish fry like You, Jesus!"

Rounding out the "Highest praise" list, we have:
"Jesus, Your feet smell like daffodils!"
(OK...I just did that one to gin up some controversy, but ya gotta admit, you snickered when you read it, didn't you?)

"Jesus, You're an INCREDIBLE water walker!"

And, of course, the top of the heap.....BOOM SHAKALAKA, JESUS!!!

What?  You mock the power of the Boom?  Well, how about a simple "I love you, Jesus"?  Yup, I agree with Amy Grant:  some things are "better than a Hallelujah" sometimes.

**Bows to the blogosphere, trots over to the corner and waits for the requisite responses**

Be Well...

Bible Stories

Have you ever read Song Of Solomon?

Basically, it's a series of love letters between Solomon and one of his many mistresses, presumably the Queen of Sheba. The specificity with which the two lovers express their desire for each other is rather erotic. (there are thinly veiled references to oral sex in the content, but I digress...)

It's soft porn. Right there in the Bible. And the more modern the translation, the more debauched the content gets (In the New English Translation, I swear they actually use the word "titties"!)

HEY!!!  Put that Bible down!  Finish reading this post first, THEN check out Solomon's freakfest!

Ahem...as I was saying. Sex. Right there in the Bible. And not "family values" sex, either. We're talking rump shaker, pole dancin' sex!

I've always wondered why that book was allowed to be canonized. True, it's beautifully poetic, some would say elegant.  But the conversation is between two unmarried folk. I suppose the final analysis was that the beauty of the writing trumped the circumstances of the situation.

Which brings me to Anthony Weiner....(didn't see that comin', did ya?)

Yes, he of dubious Twitpic infamy. The same. I've listened to many people lambaste this Congressman for his (admittedly) childish, reprehensible behavior. Here's my two cents.

I don't think he should have resigned. No more than I would fire my dentist if he was discovered in the same predicament.  You see, that behavior had nothing to do with his ability to successfully perform his job. Rep. Weiner was the bane of the House GOP's existence, often triumphing over his adversaries with his superior knowledge of House protocol and procedure. Getting rid of him was a great boon to the Republicans in the House.  It also should be noted that several lawmakers of Republican stripe (this means YOU, David Vitter!) have actually committed sexually based CRIMES, with no backlash where their jobs were concerned. Why was it different for Weiner?  I wonder...

But, Dion!  Poor character would distort his ability to legislate, you say.  Really?  I think not.  FDR and JFK were both great presidents who were also notorious womanizers and philanderers.  Again, I am NOT condoning the behavior. I'm simply stating that I believe the efficacy of his legislative ability (especially in this season, when a "double dip" recession looms and our troops are on multiple war fronts) has nothing to do with the circumstances of HIS situation.

Personally, I hope Weiner regroups, makes amends with his wife, welcomes a healthy new baby into their lives, and eventually makes a comeback to the political arena. He did something dumb, but he's not beyond forgiveness.

In the interim, he should write a few passionate letters to his wife. And I know exactly where he can get some inspiration!  You see, there's this book in the Bible...

Be Well!

Here We Go!

So...It finally happened. Oh, I was reluctant. Downright stubborn about it, even. Yet, here I am. Yes, Da Kid has finally thrown his proverbial hat in the blogosphere ring, as it were. At long last, I have relented and stepped into the arena...

Lemme tell you right now what this will be and (more importantly) what it will NOT be. I intend to offer my opinion on everything that happens to come across my mind, whenever the mood hits me. Oh! You were expecting a regular schedule from me? A clockwork-like timetable in which to come back and check out my musings? Well, you are in for a rude awakening! I am a "fly by the seat of my pants" kind of Dude, so I won't allow myself to commit to a regular schedule....for now. Just know that my intention is to check in regularly with my own special brand of tangential fooleywang. You KNOW how we do!

We have a lot of big things on the horizon. I can't wait to share them with you.

Are ya ready? Can you handle talking about all things "churchy" with a guy who MAY quote someone who gratuitously uses the word "shit", or some other epithet that your holier than thou sentimentality might get huffy about? (Those who know me, realize I just chuckled right there!) Seriously, this will be an OPEN forum. If you can't handle it, by all means...hit the bricks. I'm tired of soft Holy Ghost eggheads representing my thoughts about real world issues. It ends here and now. We'll have fun. We'll get real. We'll be heard. And isn't it about time?

Be Well...